With all these things I have said I LOVE GRENADA by the way and I am just complaining about myself because I am still growing and learning more about myself so every experience lends its hand it that.
Well I decided to give this blog thing another try. I remember being so excited about Grenada and I said that I was going to keep a blog about the new journey and everything and I FAILED at that lol but now I am hoping this new year magic will help me. But difference for me when I first came to Grenada it felt more unknown to me and now that even I have been there not so long but long enough to realize how I mix with the place, with school, my rights and my wrongs so I am going back feeling more experienced instead of like lets see what happens. I am like okay stay away from that, lol, do this, do that, and shut up. lol.
Pretty much I am like I just want to finish school. Yes I am the person who loves new experiences and adventures and meeting new people, I still love all of those things yes but I would love these things more when I am done with school lol. I still treat grenada as an adventure because IT IS, schooling in an island but it is still SCHOOL and I never remember SCHOOL ever being a walk in the park. I have a few goals that I want to accomplish this semester outside of being awesome in school, the list has been dramatically reduced since coming home for winter break but my goals are just with a couple of organizations I am involved in, one of the is HSO, I feel like a part parent of the club and I would like to see what me and the other E-board members could do with it, I am really going to put alot of energy into the club. I am really BIG on Humanitarianism so I would like to see the club Humanitarianism Service Organization really flourish but other than that I don't care about anything else oh yeah definitely I would like to get more involve with GOD, I feel like with God I have not been living in the present with Him, I feel like I have been thinking too much and when you end up thinking you end up not growing or doing anything, so definitely want to have more devotions like re-commit to devotions again, like more alone time so it will keep me more present. I mean this having a great relationship with God is my number one thing ever, I am never happy when I don't feel like I am not where I should be with God like right now, its like I always know I could be better. I would like to be part of a Bible Study in school, I hope there is time for that for my schedule because of our class time was so late but I hope I could get more involved. Also working out more, gonna stop saying I am allergic to working out.
Yah pretty much New Year for me my resolution is to be just MATURE in every aspect of my life, I am not childish in my thinking but I would admit I am not consistent in being mature when it comes to other matters, like a mature person would always be ontop of their room, not have clean days and messy days and even messier days. A mature person does things on super on time and stuff like that. So I want to be more consistently mature in like you know I am 21 now, now I really have the badge of yeah I am in my twenties. I think there is a time when something clicks and it has clicked for me, I like to when people call me mam'm, I feel like woman lol not girl maybe when I am like 40, I will be like who you calling mam'm lol. Its like something has to click you know, its like you go from a teenager playing adult sometimes and now I am like one, as you continue to grow in your twenties people expect more from you, well to be more put together I suppose. I don't know when you are under this teenage cloud, its like maybe you are not thinking that I want people to see me as put together person you are just like whatever, personality personality personality but now that I am 21, I do still want to keep my personality yaaa but I want to be more refined, like Mary 2.0, still me but just like twenties me. I am really going to try to keep a blog this semester, this year, like a weekly blog or bi-weekly with pictures and stuff because no one likes to read just words these days. Lets just say I have been disappointed by people, actually in one case I shouldn't be disappointed I am the one that was the villain in this case but still silly man lol. they are some people that have turned out to have disaappointed me due to just because it caught me by surprise but although I come off very light and fluffy and bleh, but there is a brain in this giant head of mine, like I am a very aware person lets just say at least when it comes to my faults. So anyway I am not angry all, just cautious but any negative realization or experience usually comes with some kind of energy and this energy is not grave but there is an energy but (sorry I believe in energies) lol but this energy from this experience makes me want to direct it to my one problem of being nervous when I speak in large group when I am like oh yeah I am like I will show you, I will show you, its sad I am motivated by this but I need a little something crazy to help me, its not that big of a deal, it just shows how not much drama I have in my life, that I am nibbling on tiny bits to get me pumped but I need it for my stage freight, ahhh, my silly stage freight why do I have it, okay I know why because as I said I am aware of my faults. One being I don't like my accent especially when I am nervous, I feel like I sound stupid lol and I don't like people looking at me lol, because honestly I don't like attention, and presentation is something that requires attention. Honestly I think I am psychotic because if I ever get married, I dread my wedding day because I don't like having attention. When I am walking down the aisle I am going to be like what you looking at lol, stop looking at me people and then run away lol. maybe If I could present in a costume it will help, with a mask, or a mascot outfit but I have to get over it because I have lots of interest and I want to be able to public speak about my passion for like the ending of fistula, and human rights, and women rights, and malaria and polar bears and stuff and stuff that I work hard and I am passionate about. I feel when I speak publicly about something I sell myself short letting my nervous energy get to me but I am hoping alot of this my I am going to show you energy will help me and plus this my whole wanting to be mature thing the spirit of it will guide me to help me lol. Okay well right now its thursday morning and I have started to pack. Although I am still stressed alot of bad things have happened to me in this short amount of time but its not as bad as the time I was packing to grenada I was running all over the place wasting money but now I know what I need to get and I am mostly worried about getting my hair done, I can't decide on a hairstyle. I am leaving to Grenada Saturday and there I will put all these crap I have said to test. Wish me Luck. Till Next
Well I decided to give this blog thing another try. I remember being so excited about Grenada and I said that I was going to keep a blog about the new journey and everything and I FAILED at that lol but now I am hoping this new year magic will help me. But difference for me when I first came to Grenada it felt more unknown to me and now that even I have been there not so long but long enough to realize how I mix with the place, with school, my rights and my wrongs so I am going back feeling more experienced instead of like lets see what happens. I am like okay stay away from that, lol, do this, do that, and shut up. lol.
Pretty much I am like I just want to finish school. Yes I am the person who loves new experiences and adventures and meeting new people, I still love all of those things yes but I would love these things more when I am done with school lol. I still treat grenada as an adventure because IT IS, schooling in an island but it is still SCHOOL and I never remember SCHOOL ever being a walk in the park. I have a few goals that I want to accomplish this semester outside of being awesome in school, the list has been dramatically reduced since coming home for winter break but my goals are just with a couple of organizations I am involved in, one of the is HSO, I feel like a part parent of the club and I would like to see what me and the other E-board members could do with it, I am really going to put alot of energy into the club. I am really BIG on Humanitarianism so I would like to see the club Humanitarianism Service Organization really flourish but other than that I don't care about anything else oh yeah definitely I would like to get more involve with GOD, I feel like with God I have not been living in the present with Him, I feel like I have been thinking too much and when you end up thinking you end up not growing or doing anything, so definitely want to have more devotions like re-commit to devotions again, like more alone time so it will keep me more present. I mean this having a great relationship with God is my number one thing ever, I am never happy when I don't feel like I am not where I should be with God like right now, its like I always know I could be better. I would like to be part of a Bible Study in school, I hope there is time for that for my schedule because of our class time was so late but I hope I could get more involved. Also working out more, gonna stop saying I am allergic to working out.
Yah pretty much New Year for me my resolution is to be just MATURE in every aspect of my life, I am not childish in my thinking but I would admit I am not consistent in being mature when it comes to other matters, like a mature person would always be ontop of their room, not have clean days and messy days and even messier days. A mature person does things on super on time and stuff like that. So I want to be more consistently mature in like you know I am 21 now, now I really have the badge of yeah I am in my twenties. I think there is a time when something clicks and it has clicked for me, I like to when people call me mam'm, I feel like woman lol not girl maybe when I am like 40, I will be like who you calling mam'm lol. Its like something has to click you know, its like you go from a teenager playing adult sometimes and now I am like one, as you continue to grow in your twenties people expect more from you, well to be more put together I suppose. I don't know when you are under this teenage cloud, its like maybe you are not thinking that I want people to see me as put together person you are just like whatever, personality personality personality but now that I am 21, I do still want to keep my personality yaaa but I want to be more refined, like Mary 2.0, still me but just like twenties me. I am really going to try to keep a blog this semester, this year, like a weekly blog or bi-weekly with pictures and stuff because no one likes to read just words these days. Lets just say I have been disappointed by people, actually in one case I shouldn't be disappointed I am the one that was the villain in this case but still silly man lol. they are some people that have turned out to have disaappointed me due to just because it caught me by surprise but although I come off very light and fluffy and bleh, but there is a brain in this giant head of mine, like I am a very aware person lets just say at least when it comes to my faults. So anyway I am not angry all, just cautious but any negative realization or experience usually comes with some kind of energy and this energy is not grave but there is an energy but (sorry I believe in energies) lol but this energy from this experience makes me want to direct it to my one problem of being nervous when I speak in large group when I am like oh yeah I am like I will show you, I will show you, its sad I am motivated by this but I need a little something crazy to help me, its not that big of a deal, it just shows how not much drama I have in my life, that I am nibbling on tiny bits to get me pumped but I need it for my stage freight, ahhh, my silly stage freight why do I have it, okay I know why because as I said I am aware of my faults. One being I don't like my accent especially when I am nervous, I feel like I sound stupid lol and I don't like people looking at me lol, because honestly I don't like attention, and presentation is something that requires attention. Honestly I think I am psychotic because if I ever get married, I dread my wedding day because I don't like having attention. When I am walking down the aisle I am going to be like what you looking at lol, stop looking at me people and then run away lol. maybe If I could present in a costume it will help, with a mask, or a mascot outfit but I have to get over it because I have lots of interest and I want to be able to public speak about my passion for like the ending of fistula, and human rights, and women rights, and malaria and polar bears and stuff and stuff that I work hard and I am passionate about. I feel when I speak publicly about something I sell myself short letting my nervous energy get to me but I am hoping alot of this my I am going to show you energy will help me and plus this my whole wanting to be mature thing the spirit of it will guide me to help me lol. Okay well right now its thursday morning and I have started to pack. Although I am still stressed alot of bad things have happened to me in this short amount of time but its not as bad as the time I was packing to grenada I was running all over the place wasting money but now I know what I need to get and I am mostly worried about getting my hair done, I can't decide on a hairstyle. I am leaving to Grenada Saturday and there I will put all these crap I have said to test. Wish me Luck. Till Next
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